It takes nearly a month, but you finally link up with a partisan unit near Minsk. In fact, it is a Jewish unit led by Hersh Smoliar and Misha Gildenman, and you are immensely grateful to have discovered such a courageous band of modern Maccabees.
The conditions in the camp are hardly luxurious. It is almost
always cold and wet, and there is rarely enough food. Most of the
time, you are either hiding or fleeing, and there is always the gnawing
that you will be caught. But positive rewards also exist. The
disruption of German trains when you blow up the tracks means the
war is being slowed down, that the death camps are not operating as
easily, and that people are being saved. You feel that you are fulfilling
the wisdom of the Talmud: If one saves a single life, it is considered
as if one has saved the entire world.
Although you feel good having saved some Jews from
extermination, you know how many tens of thousands you could not help.
The guilt you feel at this failure haunts you long after the war; you
cannot shake it off. Why did they have to die? Why couldn't I save
them, too?
You spend many years in treatment with a psychiatrist who specializes in working with people who feel such guilt. However, your treatment is unsuccessful and, finally, you are admitted to a hospital where you will live as a patient until you die.
END